Lowest Bidder #001

My first tribute to systems which were evidently contracted to the Lowest Bidder.

I have Verizon FIOS at home. I've had it since the day before I moved into my present apartment. It's really quite wonderful. I have their 20/5 service (I think). It goes all the way up to 20/20. I've been meaning to upgrade my service for some time ... just haven't gotten around to it yet.

A cute Verizon girl was stationed in the lobby of my apartment building, peddling Verizon FIOS service. When asked, I mentioned that I already had service, although I wanted to upgrade it. She offered to help (she's paid on commission). I got a free apple juice.

We sat down and she filled out a form and placed a phone call. The short version is that it isn't possible to upgrade service. To get 20/20 service, I must first completely cancel and have disconnected my existing service. And only after that has taken place can an order be entered for new service. And only after that order has been entered will we know how long I have to wait for installation of the new service. I would have to go without service for an unspecified amount of time because they do not have the capacity to modify the existing level of service.

To understand how long I would be willing to go without Internet service, one should consider how long I would be willing to hold my breath.

My congratulations to Verizon for inspiring this new Lowest Bidder series.