Self-Motivation

Why must I play mind games with myself in order to do things that I know I'm capable of doing? This is never truer then when running. If I'm running with someone, I can easily run as far as they can. Not that I have this opportunity very often. At the gym, on the treadmill, right around a mile and a half into the run, I have to start the mind games. "I want to stop. Just another thirty seconds." Thirty seconds later, "Just another thirty seconds." This might continue for five or ten minutes.

When I was hiking in Yosemite, we had just come down Half Dome and were nearly back to came when we stopped at Emerald Pool. This had been the motivation that kept me going the whole day - this pool is beautiful: fresh, cool, glistening water. It turns out that the water wasn't cool - it was COLD. Snow melt. I spent a long while trying to get my feet used to the water and then I started contemplating jumping it. I started standing on a rock, out in the pool, poised to jump it. Staring at the flowing by. Cold.

I reasoned, "Jeremy isn't with us, but if he were, he would jump in. And if Jeremy were going to jump in, I would jump in. Therefore, I must jump in." And I jumped in. It was very refreshing, if not hypothermic. But refreshing.

Stupid mind games.

Now, back to work.