Having no better place...
Having no better place to store these jokes, I'll commit them to my blog. A lost balloonist, a SQL query that walks up to two tables, and the object-oriented way to become wealthy. Inheritance.
Topic
funny
A collection of 69 posts
Crocs
I didn't know I was looking for the perfect quote about Crocs until I found it: "When I see someone wearing Crocs, I immediately know we have nothing in common." It conveys my thoughts exactly.
Grocery Store
I went to the grocery store for toilet paper. Supplies at home are at crisis levels. I returned with mango juice, four apples, and a half gallon of milk. No toilet paper. I'm going to try again today.
Blood
The NY blood people called for another donation, so I went in. After a recent high-altitude trip I expected an interesting red blood cell count, not to be turned away: my blood pressure, normally 120/60, read 102/40. Healthy as a horse, they said, but no.
Overconfidence
A modern dance performance pushed me to the brink of uncontrollable laughter. I took a high-interest loan off my future self-control reserves just to keep it together. Poetry recitation while dancing was more than I could take.
Burrito Bars Sans Tortillas
We had a burrito bar at work for lunch. They forgot the tortillas. As the office manager told the restaurant, it sort of makes our burrito bar useless. So: burrito components, with nachos.
Tracey is Wrong
An oldie but goodie. Click for the bigger image.
Florida
I think Google Maps is trying to find the geometric center of the Florida-shaped polygon, maybe? I'm not sure what to make of it. I'm switching back to MapQuest. 1998, here I come.
Pining for the Fjords
A Monty Python parrot sketch, reworked for the PC store: a man returns BeOS half an hour after buying it, insisting it's dead. No no, says the clerk, it's not dead, it's pining for the fjords. Beautiful boot time.
Expendability
Click to enlarge.
