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My first piece of mail at the new house was a Netflix DVD, a couple days late and looking carefully opened with a letter opener. Oh well. At least my mailman has a vested interest in my continuing to pay for the service.

I tried guacamole again and didn't gag, a vast improvement. Herewith, my running list of foods I dislike(d), in reverse chronological order of conversion, from cigarettes and coconut milk down to the steak and red wine I've already come around on.

Apparently the Naval airshow with the Blue Angels isn't common knowledge in the North-East, at least among certain large-nosed people. I'd have suggested electricity wasn't either, but got cut off. The Angels perform near Pensacola beach in July. Hmm.

Rule number one: don't do business with friends or family. I wonder if anyone sells a poster of that nature. I think I'd hang it in my office.

I explained revolving credit, buying down rates, and interest-only ARMs versus amortization to the cashier at Parisians. He had so many questions. Curtis Tech Support is branching out.

Help Vampires: A Spotter's Guide. This is awesome.

You've read about it in Us Weekly, Vanity Fair and Elle. Now your final opportunity to Help Me Move is here: Saturday, May 6th. Let me know if you're interested. No, I'm not posting the location of the storage unit with all my stuff.

A 07:30 Audi appointment seemed like a good idea until "Fluid" blared at 06:15. They lent me a shiny 2006 A4 while working on my not-nearly-as-shiny 1998 one. Plus: Maggiano's beef medallions, an 80s gym soundtrack, and two hornets meeting their end.

A Playboy mail offer arrived while I was staying at my pastor's house. Twelve issues for $12, plus a free DVD. Also: cauliflower ear at Great Clips, asian twins at Publix, chocolate chips, and the Queen's birthday versus our refreshingly rotating figureheads.

I was invited to a baby shower, by the expectant mother, to "liven up the conversation." This is going to be seriously weird. Also, my house closing got bumped up, and a movie gave me a wonderful line about three inches of bullet-proof glass.