Curtis Jones

Lullabies by Marvin the Paranoid Android, a bowl of milkless shredded wheat, and two construction guys outside throwing a machete at each other's feet. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt, especially with an eighteen-inch knife.

My oldest sister just had her first kid, Madelyn. She doesn't have a Wikipedia page yet, but the Olsen Twins, who share her birthday, do. So Madelyn has nothing to worry about.

No more Monopoly stories. But I did play Yahtzee, rolled horribly, and nearly tied for second through good decisions alone. I was teased for thinking only my decisions are right, which is true, but only because everyone else makes stupid ones.

From one railroad and Atlantic Ave. to owning everything. A three-and-a-half-hour Monopoly masterclass in rental agreements, immunity to rent, and a sugar-daddy opponent who bankrupted himself being nice. I think I'm done with Monopoly.

Travel arrangements for the Mauna Loa hike are finally done, and I even talked a cousin into climbing an active volcano with me. Also, sage advice spotted in a product manual about potentially explosive atmospheres.

Twelve days in Hawaii, but the beach can wait. There's a 19-mile hike up Mauna Loa to a 13,500-foot cabin before sundown. Tickets $46, room $50, pass free, pictures priceless, and about $1000 in gear. After that, I'll happily do nothing on the beach.

I missed my May 2005 vacation, and my May 2006 one too, but I'm finally going in October. Satellite imagery just doesn't do the place justice.

I got a USB headset and a phone-like device for Skype, plus my own number. Naturally I called that number with Skype and conferenced the two together to see what would happen. The soft echo was funny at first. Then it got loud. Now you know.