Hello. My Name is Curtis.

Me: "Hello. My name is Curtis."

Group: "Hello, Curtis."

Me: "I've been Windows XP free for thirteen days."

Group: *applause*

Stage Hand: *places soap box on stage*

Me: Mind you, I've loathed XP my entire life - even before it existed - when only the pre-thought of the pre-thought of the pre-thought of XP plagued me, I loathed it. For seven months I was torturously made to use it - eight hours a day (and not a minute more!), five days a week - for seven months. My soul now crushed. Fingers withered. Joy-of-work gone. My only solace the early morning practice of lifting heavy objects repeatedly.

But a light came. A glimmer of joy. A whisper of distributed networks, platform independent development and free food. I was saved. I had found an escape from the clutches of Big Brother.

The beacon of his fortress still trickles through my window, but it is only a faint reminder of days now gone.