Sin is Crouching at the Door
I was in a lengthy meeting when I heard, from elsewhere in the house, bellowing / hollering uncharacteristic of K, but distinctly K's voice. A parent can ofter tell the different types of "cries", and I knew something tragic (at least in his mind) had just happened, but he wasn't physically hurt. My meeting wrapped up and I went in search of K.
It was immediately apparent that K needed to get out of the house, so K and I drove to a nearby park to walk some trails and talk. After that, we ventured in the nearby, quaint little downtown area to burn some more time. We discovered this "leave art. take art" box (pictured above) on the side of the road. It's an interesting spin on the take-a-book / leave-a-book boxes I see sometimes.
I suggested grabbing some dinner. Each of our first several restaurant choices were completely packed. Finally, we found a derelict BBQ place with mediocre food, an awful parking lot and terrible waiters. Thankfully, there was abundant parking and immediate seating. I can't decide if that's better than waiting an hour for a table when you're already hungry. K quickly settled on the chicken tenders (of course) and was not disappointed.
Mixed in to all of this was a lot of conversation about being aware of what causes stress, and how to be aware of it and deal with it before it festers, bubbles up and becomes huge over-reactions (an allusion to the hollering I mentioned before).
I often (poorly) "manage" – family, employees, whatever – by only intervening when a problem occurs. It's the easy and lazy thing to do. If everything is good, then I don't really have anything to do, right? I have realized lately that I need to spend more one-on-one time with each kid. I get alone time when S takes the kids to go run errands or they're off to school or something. But the kids are always together with each other. Almost always. And if we are all packed into a relatively tiny house, eventually that stress builds up in each of us.
Just the same, that's not an excuse for blowing up. If I can paraphrase Sarek (Spok's father in the 2009 JJ Abrams Star Trek movie):
You must learn to control your feelings, so that they do not control you.
Somewhat related to that notion is this also considerably more authoritative source of knowledge (Genesis 4:7), where God is speaking to Cain:
“If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.”
Giving in to your emotions and feelings is essentially a "gateway drug" to sin. Master everything in your life, emotions and feelings included. Do not let sin rule over you; you must rule over it.
Circling back to the start of all of this: I think we're going to find a way to accommodate moving K in with W, who present has his own room. It's amusing that the smallest human here has the most personal space. Maybe having a better allotment of personal space will make the emotional boil-overs less prevalent.