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Twelve days in Hawaii, but the beach can wait. There's a 19-mile hike up Mauna Loa to a 13,500-foot cabin before sundown. Tickets $46, room $50, pass free, pictures priceless, and about $1000 in gear. After that, I'll happily do nothing on the beach.

I missed my May 2005 vacation, and my May 2006 one too, but I'm finally going in October. Satellite imagery just doesn't do the place justice.

I got a USB headset and a phone-like device for Skype, plus my own number. Naturally I called that number with Skype and conferenced the two together to see what would happen. The soft echo was funny at first. Then it got loud. Now you know.

My first piece of mail at the new house was a Netflix DVD, a couple days late and looking carefully opened with a letter opener. Oh well. At least my mailman has a vested interest in my continuing to pay for the service.

I tried guacamole again and didn't gag, a vast improvement. Herewith, my running list of foods I dislike(d), in reverse chronological order of conversion, from cigarettes and coconut milk down to the steak and red wine I've already come around on.

Apparently the Naval airshow with the Blue Angels isn't common knowledge in the North-East, at least among certain large-nosed people. I'd have suggested electricity wasn't either, but got cut off. The Angels perform near Pensacola beach in July. Hmm.

Rule number one: don't do business with friends or family. I wonder if anyone sells a poster of that nature. I think I'd hang it in my office.

I explained revolving credit, buying down rates, and interest-only ARMs versus amortization to the cashier at Parisians. He had so many questions. Curtis Tech Support is branching out.

Help Vampires: A Spotter's Guide. This is awesome.

You've read about it in Us Weekly, Vanity Fair and Elle. Now your final opportunity to Help Me Move is here: Saturday, May 6th. Let me know if you're interested. No, I'm not posting the location of the storage unit with all my stuff.