Monumental Failures

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Monumental Achievments

33

Recruiters

I was asleep when the phone rang. Twice. A recruiter with a thick accent, an email I never got, and a job I'd already accepted. BASIC ENGLISH PEOPLE. PLEASE.

Hello. My Name is Curtis.

Hello. My name is Curtis. I've been Windows XP free for thirteen days. After seven months chained to it, eight hours a day, I found my escape in distributed networks, platform independence, and free food.

Lime Wire, Day 1

My first day at Lime Wire. No point drawing distinctions with my Orwellian former employer; tomes could be written. The happiest moment: "We don't set up developer's computers."

Pikes Peak

Hiking Pikes Peak up the Barr Trail: a wrong trailhead, a bear on the trail, a hungry-looking bear reported behind us, a wind gust I had to drop to the ground to avoid, and a t-shirt at the snowy summit while the train tourists stared.

Domestication

The last horse slaughterhouse for human consumption lost its court challenge. Apparently horses are somehow distinct from cows or pigs. I leave you with a Futurama quote about double-horse juiced-in goodness.

I Dream of....

I dreamt of an all-day climb up a crazy-steep mountain, a cabin at the top, and the reason my pack was so heavy: a full-size oven with range. Freud, where are you?

Union Craziness

My manager is boxing up his desk to move two desks over, because union rules forbid him from carrying the items the three steps himself. The movers, meanwhile, pick up boxes, walk a few feet, and set them down.

Pistols

I did my first real pistol squat this morning, left leg. My right leg was not inclined to oblige me. It will, soon enough.